Toto Pass Toto – 18+)
EPISODE 14
Girl: sorry oh! Bros em touch you?
Me: your sight go recession?
Girl: eyaaa… Na gutter Ithink say I pour am oh!
Me: I be gutter for your eyes?
Girl: shooo! Bros, no be so na, na water I pour, you no go just mind your business waka pass, sas the water touch you, eyaaa!!
Voice: Fejiro, na who you dey follow talk?I adjusted my sight a little so I can see farther, behind the girl who poured me water.
I saw a fat balloon coming towards us, my five in one. With fat face, conclusively fat everything.
Some men can marry sha… She can’t be like this before marriage, it should be after, I wondered who is climbing who?
Fejiro: mama na one fine bobo, I pour am water but I don tell am sorry.
Fat woman: bros oh! Na wetin happen? She never settle you with sorry?
Me: aunty good afternoon..I just left in peace because they looked like trouble-shooters, luckily for me Musa was at the gate handling chewing stick. No He saw me and remained in that position he was standing leaning at the gate.
Me: Musa, come do your job?
Musa: oga me ko, kosi. me I nodey do am for me again.
Me: I no ask you to do, come open this gate, before thunder go roast your family members.
Musa: me no go ofina for gate por me, me thunder killam for my family ko? Thunfer fire am for my papa.
Me: amen, come open this gate.
Musa: thunder fry am for my mama.
Me: yes oh! Hallelujah.
Musa: me no go get am for peace.
Me: at all, come open this gate, I go report you to landlord oh!
He still opened the gate cursing him self while I helped him to make it a prayer point, I entered my apartment and headed to the bathroom.
Had my bath and a knock landed on my door with PHCN restoring power.
I rushed to the protector with just towel tied around my waist, I saw Beauty glowing with a sunshade at my doorstep.
Me: my angel, baby you are fine, too fine!
Beauty: please, stop flattering me. You refused to pick my calls, are you cheating on me? so soon?
Me: baby you are outside, can you come in lets talk about it?She agreed with me with a nod, and we went inside together.
I brought my cream and she sat on the bed, she sat staring at me as I creamed myself, I am not those type of guys that walk around n***d when their girlfriends is there.
Me: baby, please, can you apply cream on my back?
Beauty: sure, I will.
She rubbed the cream on her palm and rubbed it all over my back, she took her hands low to my front and kissed my neck, I felt my dck kicking the towel several times.
Beauty: f–k me! she whisper a command that my lower brain understand I dragged off my towel from my waist and flung it away, she offed her black t-shirt hurriedly, our lips met half-way as we drank from each others fountain of love.
I unhooked her bra and it fell off, I cupped the two brasts and weighed them before picking the left npple to place my lips on.
I bent low and fed my lips on her ercted n—-e, rolling my tongue on it.
Beauty: aahhh! Sck me hungrily and f–k my a*s really good, I want you in my btthole which one is I want you in btthole again na?
Me: beg for my dck!
Beauty: ahhh! Please, give it to me in the a*s baby I no understand this a*s giving oh! She unbuttoned her trouser and I helped her out with it, she turned back and held the wall bending towards me.
She wore a g-string pnt that could hardly be called a pnt ’cause this one is just like let me wear to wear.
Abigail: shift the fcking pant, and f–k my a*s I no understand oh!
I walked towards her with my pointing dck, shift her g-rope aside and placed my face in between her crack.
Stretched my tongue and tickled her clt from behind, her love juice started flooding down her flawless laps.
I stood up and readied my dck to thrst in, when she turned around.
Beauty: a**l, baby. my dck fall
Me: which a**l, who and you wan a**l?
Beauty: lets just try it, is very sweet baby.
Me: who and you wan try am?
Beauty: give it to me in the a*s if you love me.
Me: you never ready for love, no love in a**l, am no longer in the mood.
Beauty: what’s is wrong with you, Vic? I don’t need your pity, I can take good care of myself, all I asked you to do is to f–k me in the a*s.
Me: you see, that place is meant for shit alone, am not going in there.
Beauty: then f–k off! She started wearing her clothes looking at me briefly as I sat quietly on the bed watching her, she left when it is clear to her that I won’t change my stance.
I dressed up and picked my phone, I placed a call to mybrother.
He picked the third ring..
Me: hello, bring my car come.
Victory: abeg na, my just use am f–k one slayqueen, I go bring am tomorrow unfailingly.
Me: rod fall enter your sense… Hello… Helloo..He ended the call, I started doing some office works and started preparing questions to ask.
I didn’t even have any accounting authority, I just had to ask them any question that entered my head tomorrow,later that night I logged in to whatsapp and Abigail was offline, only Beauty was online.
Me: my love type and send
Beauty: no reply I sent several messages and love quotes, she was determined to force me into this a**l sx of thing, she is looking for who to kill, tell them am not an assassin.
A wicked idea entered my head, I uploaded Abigail’s picture as my profile picture.She just appeared online…
Abigail: awwnn… Am blushing. her message
Beauty: my love, please change that profile picture, am sorry. her message*
My brothers and sisters that is how I switched off my data and quickly removed my battery.
I hugged my pillow and drifted to the land of dream, the next morning I woke up strong and sound.
I prepared noddles and enjoyed it with a cup of tea, I had my bath then wore my suite.
Don’t look at me like that Nigeria don’t have suite but coat.
I gathered myself and went to work, after several drama in the buses I took.
I arrived late to my office, it was 9:30am I arrived at the industry premises while I scheduled the interview around 11:00am.
I breathed the bossy air as they threw several ‘sir good morning’ my way.
I headed to my office side which was secluded from the other offices, the passage was open which means my secretary is inside already, I strode the passage on getting to her office door I heard manly voice, I paused and listened.
Voice1: Angela, why you dey do me like this na, I don wait for you sotay I don dey lose weight. When we go do rematch? eehhnn! Wonderful
Voice2: who and you wan do rematch, as you big get muscles everywhere na finger battery dey in between your legs, just carry yourself commot here ehhnn.. Finger battery?
Voice1: I no prove am say the size no matter, no be you dey shout hrder and fster that day?
Voice2: prove wetin? I dey shout harder and faster because I no dey feel anything, I no know when you even start to end am, just carry your two seconds prck commot from my office.
Voice1: no do me like this na, you know say you sweet well well… Your nyash too big, I wish say you no say my knack you from behind you for enjoy my sugar prck, no worry we go do missionary style, this one go sweet you die!
Voice2: see, just go your office or I go shout ‘rape’ for your head, disappear from here oh! You just big for nothing, I think say all these body builders get strong amu but na tortori them get, I no go warn you again oh!
Voice1: just this once abeg, I go make sure say you enjoy am and you go beg me for more.
Voice2: rape oh!! Someone want to rape me oh!!shouting
Voice1: carry your voice down, I don go.
I retreated back like an army, and paused at the pavement, immediately Mr. Jude came out of the office, he was shocked to see me.
Mr. Jude: good afternoon I mean morning, sir.
Me: you no know time again? he scratch his half- white hair
Mr. Jude: am sorry, sir. I just came to take a file from her, you know about the sudden report we needed to prepare.
Me: where is the file, the file rejected you? he look confuse
Mr. Jude: no sir, the file is not prepared yet, my frequenting here will facilitate it.
Me: keep on trying, we need efficiency in this industry.
Mr. Jude: unfailingly, we are glad to offer more than that he grin from ear to ear I left him and went to my office, I find my secretary behind the computer screen typing seriously, I examined her properly.
That is when I realized she was actually a pretty woman with big assets everywhere, her brasts are threatening to escape the br that cupped them, my dck started nodding towards that direction, I warned my dck mentally to stop.
I don’t like it fat and big, I love it moderate and sweet
Secretary: good morning, sir she greet standing up
Me: morning, Angela… Please seat, prepare the interview room and facilitate the procedures, I would handle it by 11am.
Secretary: am on my way sir.
She stood up and walked to the door, her big ss cheeks were shaking ‘earthquakeously’.
Every of her step shifted the short office skirt she wore to her laps, she is wonderfully blessed behind, no wonder men cannot stay off even the ring on her ring-finger cannot make us stay away.
After she shut the door behind her, I went inside my office and fixed my battery inside my phone.
I breathed as I powered it on, my applications started loading, immediately it had fully started all applications.
I switched on my data and rushed to change my profile picture, a call came in from Victoria.
I haven’t visited her after I promised her I will, she shouldn’t blame me. It was Tracy and her stupid revenge that made me failed her, I picked the call.
Me: aunty Vicky, the finest Nigeria married lady.
Victoria: shey you know say thunder suppose roast youtoday.
Me: start to come my burial tomorrow, no try eat rice for my burial oh! Drink only water and cry.
Victoria: look at you? I no dey come broke a*s association burial, shey you no wan visit me bah?
Me: no vex, them kidnap me that day wey I wan come visit you, them beat my last memory commot.
Victoria: you dey serious, or na one of your crazy lies.
Me: I nodey lie na, ask my twin brother em go prove am.
Victoria: birds of the same feather, shift joor! So, when you go come see your small pikin?
Me: nodey talk that thing oh! You go just make me no come again.
Victoria: you be my pikin godfather, if na girl tufiaa! I nogo even gree, before you go go finger her one day.
Me: I start laughing I don give my life to Christ, old things have past away.
Victoria: pastor Victor, but you no go fit pastor for my church fine another parish, so when you go come?
Me: after work.
Victory: no fail me oh!
Me: I swear.
The call ended and Beauty called me immediately, I groaned and picked the call she was silent on the other end for few seconds before she spoke…
Beauty: is it she, the one you love more than me?
Me: no, she is just my bestie. You know I cannot live without you, you are the air I breathe, you are the reason I keep on living, you are a part of me I cannot lose, immediately you end the call I will change it.
Beauty: I love you more! her voice change from crying one to cheerful will you change it to my….
Me: hello… Helloo… Helloo… Are you… Hearing me? Network.
I ended the call and rushed to my whatsapp hurriedly and click on the profile section and clicked on the profile icon then changed the profile picture to a writeup ‘I LOVE MY BABY’A message came in from Abigail immediately.
Abigail: so you removed my picture from your profile?
her whatsapp message*
I didn’t even know what to do again, I stared at my phone for few seconds after I view her message, I breathed out the confusion and my thumbs hovered on the keyboard in my screen.
Me: Sweet, I thought you said I should remove it? I reply
Abigail: I never said so. her message
Me: okay, am sorry. I thought you did. I reply
Abigail: ehnn.. I don’t like that picture, use this one.
This one is finer than the other one, those little girls should back off a photo with footnote, her message I was still battling with the confusion at hand when Beauty hawked her ‘wahala’ to my market.
Beauty: baby, I want you to put my picture on your profile, I love you so so much she send a photo with footnote
Me: wetin I do these girls na?
My brain was very hot that I didn’t even know what to do anymore, I switched off my data and removed the battery including the sim card.
My secretary walked in…Secretary: sir, is time.
Me: make we dey go I exhale and stretch myself yawning
Secretary: sir, what happened to your phone? this one will not mind her business
Me: I dey do experiment.
I headed out and she came running behind, I walked directly to the interview room and took my supposed seat.
I exhaled when I saw ten files on the table, I scanned the files and learnt that two girls survived the hard test by the accounting team.
I signaled my secretary to invite the first person on my list, I kept my stare constantly as the first applicant opened the door and stepped in, he shut the door behind him.
He was unnerved by my stare as he shook with freight, he stood before me instead of having a chair.
Me: who are you and what are you doing here? I bark at him
Applicant: si..r s…ir his lips start dancing awilo am .. Here for the interview.
That is how he lost his opportunity to be the accountant of the industry, he dearth wit.
The next person came in, he looked like a criminal but perhaps an educated one, all those people that can rob you and you will thank them for doing good things, he sat after greeting me.
I remained silent as I studied him, my constant stare at him made him look at himself instead of facing me, that alone gave him in.
Me: what did you take this morning? I ask calmly
Applicant2: I had bread and tea as breakfast this one can lie!
Me: and wetin that one dey give for body?
Applicant2: is advisable we should take light food in the morning.
That is how he failed, that was never an answer to my question.
I nodded and acknowledged his wit and manliness.
Me: we will get back to you.
He stood up and left, another applicant came in.
His timid nature and his glasses showed that he is one of those guys that love reading more than anything, I don’t like boring people.
Me: you don’t look like John I watch him calmly
Applicant3: I am John, sir.
Me: what makes you John?
Applicant3: I am recognized as John, and my parents gave me that name.
Me: I do not recognize John as you, what if your parents never gave you that name, would you still be John?
Applicant3: I will go by the name am recognized with sir. I nod, he has just fail
Me: wetin you chop this morning? he adjust his eyeglass, habit and it is disrespectful
Applicant3: garri and soup this one wan come sleep for here
Me: we will message you.
He took his leave and I was left with just two files, and they are all female.
One of the girls stepped in, she was looking dangerous with her make-up and the gods are no friendly eyelashes, I adjusted uncomfortably on my office chair.
She is pretty but her crave for artificial discredit her partially.
She greeted humbly and had her seat.
Me: you don thief before? she look confuse and shake her head
Applicant4: I have never steal before, I am a christian and my doctrine preached against that.
Me: alright, we will definitely get back to you in due time.
She had failed woefully, there is no child born in Nigeria that had not steal, knowingly or unknowingly. Stealing is not just forcefully acquisition of someone’s property by threatening his or her life, but taking someone’s property without his or her knowledge and consent, scamming follow sha..
She left and I checked the remaining file, it was a girl and her name is Cynthia.
I looked at her passport and her facial out-look wasn’t actually attractive, the door opened and a very I mean very beautiful girl walked in like her ‘royal majesty’.
Peruzzi talk say ‘come and see the mermaid’, my breathe left the window as I stared at the passport and her in person interchangeably.
I swallowed hard as she gave her professional smile displaying a very white teeth, I cleared my throat and stared at her very hard, but she looked back unshaken.
Her beauty gave her confidence.
Me: have you steal before?
Applicant5: yes, sir. But I cannot remember how many times and how I did.
Me: why are you pretty?
Applicant5: I don’t see myself as someone pretty, thank you if you see me as such she knock me off with her smartness
Me: we will call you.
Applicant5: thank you, sir.
Me: call in my secretary.
She left and my secretary walked in, she was looking at me somehow somehow, sniffling like dog that has smelt roasted shit.
See this woman oh!
Me: go buy me a new phone and another sim.
Secretary: alright, sir.
She took the money and left, I came out of the interview room and went to my office and sat down.
I slept off and some minutes later my secretary woke me, I inserted the new sim in the new phone and recharged it using my bank.
I downloaded facebook and whatsapp into it, and saved only Abigail’s number.
I switched on my other phone and took the picture there without the sim card ofcourse, I sent the pictures to the new phone, I uploaded Beauty’s picture as my facebook profile picture and Abigail as my whatsapp profile picture and sent her a message, since her phone number was the only number saved in the new sim card.
She wasn’t online so I dialed her number, it rang four times before she finally picked.
Abigail: hello, who is on the line?
Me: sweet, how are you?
Abigail: Vic, is that you?
Me: yes, my love.
Abigail: what happened to your phone, I tried calling you a million times but it wasn’t going through.
Me: I for don die by now sef.
Abigail: god forbid!
Me: amen oh, armed robbers attacked me and robbed me.
Abigail: did they hurt you, hope you are fine?
Me: am not oh! I just dey come back from hospital.
Abigail: jeez.. I dey come… I am coming over after work,sweet. my heart skip Wetin I do god of lie? Make person help me ask am.
I scratched my head aside as failed to creep into my head, I opened another page in my head that contained three ways to escape danger.
Me: I travelled immediately after the robbery, am not at home… Sweet.
Abigail: where did you go to? she ask suspiciously
Me: I went to see my parents, they are disturbing that I have not visited them for a long time so I seized the opportunity to travel and see them.
Abigail: I thought you said you were beaten to mouth of grave, how were you able to travel?
Me: you ehnn… No be we tin I talk oh! I just go hospital for trauma check up because they almost shot me with the gun they held, but God in heaven no gree.
Abigail: I see, uncle when are you returning, you know tomorrow is your birthday and we are celebrating it together that birthday is scary
Me: I will be back in the evening, is there no emergency today. Aunty go safe life she laugh
Abigail: I will call you later, Sweet.
She ended the call and I logged in my facebook account to check if there is any message from Beauty.
There was lots of messages from friends, I saw her icon showing green indicating she is online.
I tapped the screen part displaying her icon and met a message from her.
Beauty: what happened to your phone? her message
Me: they stole my phone, I will buy a new one and retrieve the line I reply
Beauty: I will get you a new phone tomorrow, talk to you later.
I exhaled the breathe I was holding, Beauty was not curious after all, she cares less.
I logged off after she went offline.
Me: aunty secretary come oh! she enter my office after few minutes
Secretary: yes, you called me.
Me: yes na, prepare employment letter for Cynthia, she has the job.
Secretary: but sir, that girl looks like a criminal, she will be stealing the industry funds, we should take one of the male. look at you? So that ona go f–k from office to roof
Me: aunty secretary, I prefer the girl. Who even tell you say she go see the industry money? Na money record she go dey keep not the bills, carry your but and go prepare the paper. she look sad about my decision but has no choice but to do what I ask her to I felt uncomfortable about tomorrow, I felt like something very bad will happen tomorrow, I needed someone to give me advice on how to handle double-dating palava, and the right person is Victoria.
She is very sharp and can date two brothers for as many years as she want without them being aware that they are both dating the same girl.
I called my twin brother immediately for my call, he picked quickly.
Me: sweet boy, wey my car?
Victory: I dey carry am come your work place, chill.. You too harsh joor.
Me: I dey wait for you.
I ended the call and placed my both legs on the table before me, the way the A-C is doing my body, ‘I know say big man sweet, poor man no know’After an hour my secretary informed me of the presence of my brother, I asked her to let him ‘that one sweet me die’.
He came in, and I wore an eyeglass I saw on the table wondered who kept it there, I wore a serious face as he walked closer.
Me: young man, what do you want? with thick bass
Victory: big man no even fit you.
Me: drop the car key disappear joor!You wey big man fit still dey hammer garri and groundnut like hobby.
Victory: na joke na, help me drop me for somewhere na I take the car keys and put in my pocket first
Me: you no get transport fare, I pity you oh! Start to trek dey go so that you go meet up on time.
Victory: pity your one and only twin brother na, abeg na!Just a lift.
Me: you get luck say I wan commot sef.
I arranged my table and took my briefcase then both of us marched out, I locked my office and we walked pass my secretary section. I suspected the way my brother and my secretary looked at each other,
Me: that woman husband na butcher!
Victory; ehhnnn… She don marry?
Me: ehnn.. You no see the ring for her hand.
He scratched his head and we entered my car, I ignited the engine and set the car in motion.
He dropped at the junction while I took a U-turn to my destination.
I got to the address that Victoria sent to me, the environment is serene as it is a government reserve area-GRA.
I called thrice before she picked the call.
Victoria: hello, who am speaking with?
Me: no kill English abeg, tell your gateman make em open gate, I dey outside with my range rover?
Victoria: no carry that keke napep put inside my compound oh, no inflict my house with poverty I laugh
Me: I come with car but no be range rover, tell am to open gate joor!
Victoria: hmmm.. Where you go thief car?
Me: I go go back oh!
Victoria: ah! Ah! Person nofit play with you, I go tell am.
I horned and the gate opened on it’s own, I didn’t realize that aunty Vicky has hit jack-pot until I entered the compound that made me see myself as very poor dude,is this not oversea in Africa.
Everywhere is sparkling, as I came down from my car and looked at things inside the compound, the more I look around I saw money everywhere, I could only breathe out ‘wow’.
Victoria was at the garden with her husband, she waved at me and I walked towards them.
I nearly pulled my shoe so that I can step inside the garden with beautiful and dazzling field grass, ‘people get money for this country oh’. Her husband is a handsome man but with pot-belle, men with pot-belle are handsome especially those without pot-belle.
A fair tall man as he stood to have handshakes with me, he looks like money and he won my respect.
Me: good afternoon, sir.
Man: afternoon, so, you are the one my wife’s is talking about? I nod you are a handsome young man, I will look for a better job for you. I become confuse
Victoria: thanks honey.
Me: thank you sir I grab his hand with my two hands, the handshake don change level
Man: can I leave now, I have an appointment to catch.
Victoria: yes, honey. See you in the evening. he peck her and left I didn’t take my eyes off the man as his movements speaks money, even his shoe speaks money, he should be breathing money too.
The man is very calm and opposite of Victoria, who I know can do and undo.
I wondered why in morale spheres opposite attract much in this current century of us.
I faced Victoria…
Me: how you take do am, which Baba lawo?
Victoria: mad boy, you don chop?
Me: no, na em make you be my house mother, you no dey ever disappoint.
Victoria: for food bah? No do marry oh! she stand up, looking like those ladies that you will feel inferior to approach if you don’t have Rang rovers sport
Me: Aunty Vicky, you look so potato, the man sp*rm dey work oh!
Victoria: you no go ever change, follow me, before you go go enter beware of dogs.
That is how I magnet myself with her, rich people’s dogs look like hungry lion.
We entered the house and I knew there is places like heaven on Earth, their are servants everywhere.
And a white lady came down from the staircase with a baby in her hands, she is not like a*s-less Italian girls or b***s-less European girls, she has everything an Africa lady could boast of and everything a white lady holds as pride.
I couldn’t help but stare and imagined myself dating someone like that, black versus white ‘how ona see am?’.
I know Victoria will not agree to it, she took the baby from the white lady and she said hi while I stared away without replying.
She went up, I was still staring, is like that day was meant for staring.
Victoria: I know say you don give am like six rounds with your eyes.
Me: me wey be priest, na who she be sef?
Victoria: you wan chop food or talk about her first?See question oh!
To be continued…
