Toto Pass Toto – 18+)
EPISODE 11
Madam: oga why you dey shout? Fine guy like you, no suppose dey shout.
Me: how fine guy affect my pocket?
Madam: no fall your hands ’cause of seven thousand naira.
Me: seven thousand wetin?! my head start aching mehow manage?
Madam: your friend that one with gal, collect two plates of pepper soup and this one wey sabi enjoyment carry two plates, plus your own na five thousand naira.
Biggy: madam this your pepper soup go well oh I eye him angrily
Me: carry this plate of pepper soup go back before I go purge, then come back for the bill.
Biggy: madam, bring another plate!
Me: your brain divorce you? Madam dey go back oh! except you wan give am for free.
I went to each table, and the idiot Biggy has opened the two bottles of beer he ordered, and have gone halves of each bottle. Wickedness, I went to my twin brother’s table and three bottles were still not touch.
He took an opener to open another bottle, when i grabbed his hand.
Me: no try am, before heaven go drop for your head.
Victory: wetin happen? which kind mortuary flexing be this?
Me: that drink get price of human being liver.
Albino: na wa for you oh! Victor.
Me: dey wa dey go, em no concern me.
I returned the bottles and the owner of the restaurant with me did the sum of what we consumed, I was lucky I returned the remaining bottles, I paid her…
Me: madam, this your shop local but na for local rich men, I even pay your shop rent sef.
Madam: road no good, and light no dey. The transport from here to city big well well, so we dey do am to gain I dey laugh
Me: madam, you try I start heading to the exit
Biggy: where you dey go?Me: I dey come.
Biggy: Victory, your brother don dey go oh.
Victory: em no go try am, em dey go weep for the money em spend, you know say money na em god.
Albino: are you serious, he is going to weep?
Victory: you never can tell three of them start laughing I just ignored them and entered my car, ignited the engine and the headlights shone surprising them. they scampered on their feet towards were my car is, I just put the car in motion and drove out, they should use the ancient means of transportation and navigate themselves home.
Musa opened the gate after I horned for over an hour, I was not surprised to see him opening the gate with just short and a girl stood on his security house, I wondered why Musa is into fresh blood and what those secondary school girls are doing with him always.
Musa: yowa! No vex am for me oga, the sweet ko!.
Me: Musa, how you dey?
Musa: pine pine, I dey do am okay.
Hee started shining his colorful teeth while I made my way inside, I took a quick shower and made myself comfortable after putting my phone on silent, placed it under my pillow and zoomed off to the dream lands.
I had a dream were my phone was ringing and the caller was Abigail, I woke up and felt my phone vibrating.
I picked the call immediately ’cause Abigail was actually the one calling not one of those i abandoned to their fate.
Me: my sweet, good morning.
Abigail: don’t just sweet me, I have been calling you. You are busy cheating on me right, she start crying
Me: I was not cheating on you, I slept off without knowing my phone was on silent.
Abigail: is she more beautiful than me?
Me: who?
Abigail: you know, am I not enough for you, why are you still cheating?
Me: what is your problem, Abigail? I told you, am the only one here.
Abigail: you are shouting on me Vic, you don’t love me she increase her crying, I just weak
Me: just come online on whatsapp for video. I ended the call.. I had to switch on all the lights, then switched on my data and messages started flooding in,as whatsapp started swallowing my data.
Immediately she came online, I tapped the video symbol at the top bar and I appeared on my screen background as calling was written on it then ringing. It showed connecting and my image took a crop box shape at the left down corner of my screen, her face came up she does not look like someone who was crying.
She was grinning and looking beautiful.
Hope they did not send this one?I started showing her everywhere from my room to the kitchen, then lastly the restroom.
Me: did you find anyone? she start giving me sorry face
Abigail: am sorry, I was not myself when you refuse picking my calls.
Me: no problem, I love you, I want to sleep.
Abigail: lazy child, lets talk joor.
Me: is not me and you oh! I nodey play with sleep oh!!
Abigail: I will cry oh! If you leave me here.
Me: am not going again, lets talk she start smiling and keeping quiet, I was just nodding my phone
Abigail: I have nothing to say, I just want to look at yourface.
Me: you need deliverance.
Abigail: from your love bah? Goodnight.
Another message: my baby! pop-up from the notification bar from Beauty, I just ignored it and switched off my data and tried to catch small sleep. I heard gun shots outside and heard some scream, I did not know how sleep left me immediately.
My brain went to work immediately when I heard a loudbang on our gate, I quickly pick-up the padlock from were I kept it, and locked the protector from outside. I removed the inside lock, I went inside the kitchen and locked it and removed the key from the door, I peeped from the kitchen window and saw Musa with arrow and bow charging gingerly at the gate.
Musa: na who dey knack am for my gate?
Voice: open this gate!! gbuuu!! Gbuuu!!
Musa: run am from here, befor I turn you to nama.
They shot twice in the air and Musa laid down flat throwing his war materials away, I went inside and grabbed all my keys pushed them under bed with my phones.
I left ten thousand naira and went under bed, I came back and removed two thousand naira from it and returned to the former position.
I started praying under the bed and confessed all my sins, as I heard Musa screaming.
I started praying that they should take the eight thousand naira on the table and leave, I heard footsteps behind my flat.
And it stopped on getting to my window…
Voice: you dey hide bah? I nearly pee
My heart beat was sounding ‘gbu! gbu!’ like a talking drum, I heard a loud bang on the protector and the padlock I held the protector closed made a sharp noise, I remained mute and immobile under the bed.
A noise of kick on my kitchen door made it gave way ‘na wa oh, if na Africa door. That guy for nofit enter like that’ I heard footsteps coming from the kitchen, they entered the bedroom.
Voice1: come out now! my phone start vibrating
Voice2: we know where you dey hide.I checked the caller and it was Beauty who was calling, I started struggling to breathe fine.
Voice3: this guy nodey house, I wish say em dey house em for no keep this money here, and em for no lock emprotector from outside na truth you talk bros
Voice1: what of em car wey dey outside?
Voice3: you dey waste time! Make we commot here before police go enter, na everyday person go drive?!ntoor! I heard foot-falls moving towards the kitchen, I exhaled the breathe I was holding.
I adjusted myself and laid fine under the bed, the tiles have never been conducive hit her to, lol.
Voices: thief oh!
Voice: lie flat! We will shoot you!!
Voices: aahhh! Ooohh!! Ewooo ah!!!
Voice: where is the money?!
The screams of cries and shouts was aired incessantly from the other flats, I thank God for giving me wisdom to elude those thieves that can reshape your body structure because of your hard earned money, ‘I no blame them sha..’ I did not know when I fell asleep, I woke up with a painful headache and rolled out from under the bed, feeling awfully cold. I wore two sweater and boiled a glass of lipton, rubbing my two palms together. I emptied the cup of boiled lipton in my stomach, and took a tablet of panadol. I went back to bed and slept off, after some hours I woke up feeling much better.
I went to the restroom and took my bath, I dressed for work and came out from my flat to see Musa tied to one of the pillar holding the security house. I could not help but laugh, he was sleeping tied to a pillar, suffering and enjoying. I did not want to stop his enjoyment, I just helped myself and opened the gate, entered my car and ignited the engine.
The sound of the car woke him up….
Musa: shegel! Bakasaga!! Elp oh! shouting
Me: Musa, how body?
Musa: pine pine! struggling with the rope Since he is fine, I just drove out of the compound leaving the gate open in case he is not fine again someone will untie him.
I got to the new branch that I was transferred as manager, I horned at the gate and it was opened for me, I drove in and parked my car.
A woman of about forty something, I surmise, she wore a marriage ring in her ring finger walked up to me.
Woman: good morning, sir. You are the new manager, right? I nod am your secretary how?
Me: morning secretary, assemble all the workers in the next seven minutes. I passed an order like boss and started walking to my office, like I know where it is.
Secretary: excuse me sir, that is not the way to your office.
Me: no vex, show me.
She giggled and went ahead of me, I was just walking behind examining her large buttocks, wondering what married women are doing with big bumbum that only their husband alone cannot handle.
I went into my office and I can call it executive office, some minutes later she came back and informer me she has carried out my order and the workers are assembled waiting for me.
She escorted me to the hall, I climbed the podium, and started scanning the faces old people everywhere, hope am not in the land of the dead oh! Make this people retire na.
Me: good morning my fathers and mothers they start laughing
Voices: good morning, sir.
Me: I don’t have much to say, you all are aware am the new manager and I supposed you all have inquired about my name.
Voices: yes, sir!
Me: make we behave and work together as family, I be ona pikin.
Any problem you have meet me, apart from financial problem they start laughing where is the accountant?
Secretary: we don’t have one.
Me: advertise the position of that vacancy, I will do the interview myself.
I went home feeling happy, you know that feeling to be called sir by older ones. On getting to my gate, I saw Musa standing in the front of the gate talking to a female hawker.
Me: Musa, open the gate!!
Musa: oga, you don come?
Me: no, I don go, ashawo! Open the gate!!!He ran and opened the gate, his love for girls is making me feel unsecured in the house I rented, I was surprised to see a girl sitting on my frontage and Sam was talking with her. I quickly came down and recognised the person as the first daughter of my older brother.
Umashi: daddy, good morning I eye Sam
Me: Sam, you jam trailer or trailer jam you? he was looking like someone beaten by those good boys that visit in the night
Sam: he hiss I will see you some other time baby my head spark
Umashi: okay.
He started limping like an old man, I was enjoying the movement.
I faced my brother’s daughter.
Me: wetin em dey tell you?
Umashi: nothing, daddy.
Me: make em be nothing oh! Because I will find out if he is telling you something.
I helped her carry her luggage inside the house, a call came in from Abigail, I picked.
Abigail: how is work today, Sweet? she was laughing
Me: make God forgive you, why old people full there na?
Abigail: ehem, so that you no go shift pnt na her pidgin was with America accent
Me: me that is a virgin she start laughing*
Abigail: bye joor!!A knock landed on the protector, I went out and met Beauty not smiling but looking very angry.
Me: you look more beautiful when angry she look away and blush, she face me looking more angrier
Beauty: why are you not picking my calls?
Me: the one I will die for, is it to climb mountain Everest?
Beauty: oh! Please, stop flattering me with those unromantic lines, were you having sx with someone? na wa oh!
Me: the entire yard was robbed last night her face soften
Beauty: are you hurt? Have you seen the doctor? Oh my….
Umashi: daddy, the food is burning oh! Beauty look shock, angry, confuse
Me: commot am for fire, you don reach age to cook wetin Buhari suppose chop.
Beauty: you have a child?! she yell at me angrily, I don’t even understand this girl character
Me: no… Is my brother’s daughter who came to write jamb in the city, can you come in.
She looked me up before going inside after a long hiss, I just entertained myself with her shaking ss.
Beauty: what are you staring at? Are you not coming in?
Me: how many men have you sent to hell with your a*s? Baby, you are beautifully made behind.
Beauty: when you are done going crazy, you can come in. She went inside, I heaved a sigh of relief. Dealing with Beauty is very difficult, she is very aggressive and irrational sometimes.
She must not see my phone before she will ask anotherjamb question, I picked up myself from the verandah.
Hid my phone in the kitchen, and entered the bedroom were Beauty is on the bed and Umashi sat facing her on the floor.
Beauty: so Vera, how old are you?
Umashi: am 16years.
Beauty: aww… You will grow up to be a beautiful woman, you are so cute for your age.
Me: but you are more beautiful than her, sha…
Beauty: who ask you? she eye me up
Me: just protecting my girlfriend interest.
Beauty: you are not serious, baby I missed you her eyes start sending sx signal, my dck got the message
Me: ehnn… Umashi, go and wash plates.
Umashi: daddy, am done washing plates na, you saw me, did not you?
Me: ehnn… Go wash my car.
Umashi: I no sabi wash car oh! which kind witch be this?
Me: ehnn.. Go wash house roof if you no sabi wash car.self contain na palava oh!
Beauty: laughing you are not serious at all, no be you want sx, which one be not serious again na
Umashi: umhh.. Unhhh.. Me, I cannot wash car oh, am hungry.
Me: go outside first, go learn how to drive car.
Beauty was busy with her phone while I was doing all the privacy negotiation, girls can do ‘I don’t care ehnn’.
My sister was about going outside when I remembered that she is a sheep and wolves like Sam and MTYB associate member might be lurking around looking for a girl to shift her pnt.
Me: where you dey go?
Umashi: you said I should go outside na, that is what am doing. look at you
Me: and you gree? Carry food and eat. Watch television, don’t go anywhere.
I laid on the bed making sure half of my body is covered beneath the sheet, mostly my nether.
Beauty also joined me under the sheet and deep her hand inside my boxer, she held my rock hrd dck and smiled.
Beauty: f–k me she whisper to me
Me: my sister I whisper back to her
Beauty: is she a virgin? she whisper to me
Me: are you suggesting, I should finger my kid sister? I whisper back, Umashi enter the room and I start laughing, she will think we are playing
Umashi: daddy thank you she sit and face the television with a plate of rice, and there is two laps of chicken on it. This girl have big eyes oh, she don eat her two days fish if she devour both laps
Beauty: no, am wt. I need you inside me now! she whisper to me, with hot breatheShe cross her leg on me, and brought out my hard dck.
J**k on it slowly, I did not see what she was doing but Ienjoyed it. She rub something wt on my dck and it feels good, the temptation is much.I could not bring myself to have sx in presence of my kid sister, is a big shame.
Me: stop please, later.. Baby. i whisper, shifting away
Beauty: no, I need you now. she whisper back, insisting
Me: no I adjusted my boxer and step down from the bed
Beauty: f–k you she said aloud and Umashi look back, her colored up face beam immediately are you done eating sweetheart?
Umashi: am still eating…Me: if she is your sweetheart, what am I?
Beauty: bitter heart, Vera, when you are done eating, wewill go out for shopping.
Umashi: yeeeeehhhh!! Thanks, aunty.
Beauty: you are welcome.
Beauty ignored me totally and focused all her attention on Umashi, I was jealous but i knew she is just angry and cannot handle the word rejection..I just kept my lonely life busy with the television.
Umashi: aunty, am done smiling like tolotolo
Beauty: let’s go…
Me: baby, what of goodbye kiss.
She looked at me and rolled her eyes, then went out with my kid sister.
I was alone in the big room, watching the boring screen that is not adding anything to the situation. You know an idle man is a devil workshop, something whispered to me that I should start watching prn. I obeyed like otondo, I was on the third scene when I dosed off leaving the prn on.I guess my rod was pointing to the sky as I slept off facing the celine, I must have gone far.
A noise woke me up, I stirred and looking towards the kitchen door and saw Amarachi looking at the screen like she has not seen someone having sx or she has not done it.Amarachi and her three friends, are students who rented house for their university education, all those offk girls.
They will not rest in school compound oh! They will rent a lounge to worry an innocent neighbor with ‘help me with maggi, help with this, let today be help me withyour dck oh!’.lol, the moment she turned to see if I am awake, I pretended to be asleep.
I slightly open my eye and find her staring hard on my rod, she must have not seen such size that want to reap boxer off.
She start scratching herself and clamped her legs, staring at the prn on the screen and me interchangeably, she looked confused, shey you nodey knock?
Voice from outside: Amarachi!! Why you dey waste time, this rice go catch fire oh!?
Amarachi: em dey sleep na! sleep ke,She walked to me and tapped me.
Me: wetin happen?
Amarachi: brother Victor, no vex… Help us with maggi abeg.
Me: why you no knock?
Amarachi: I knock, but you no gree open door. Abeg, our rice dey fire.
Me: so my start to run helter skelter for your rice?
Amarachi: no vex na, you sef ehnn.
Me: hope say you no look tv oh.
Amarachi: I no look oh! Am a virgin who ask this one? I stood up and went to the kitchen while she followed from behind, I gave her cubes of maggi.
She thanked me and wanted to go out, she turned backand blushed, then winked at me and left.
I would have called her back and smashed her hrd, butthe fear of Beauty is the beginning of wisdom.
I heard car horned outside and I did the cross sign, went back inside removed the prn and sat down.
Some minutes later, Beauty came in looking angry.
Beauty: who is she?
Me: who?
Beauty: the girl that just left.
Me: ordinary neighbor.
Beauty: I will find out myself.
She removed something on the wall in the bedroom, and went to the kitchen, and came back with similar gadget.
Umashi ran inside with two big bags, smiling and grinning like someone who won lotto.
Umashi: daddy, see… them send you? You no see the situation on ground
Me: what is that baby?
Beauty: a video recorder video wetin?
Me: when did you do this?
Beauty: some days ago… hope Valentine day no followoh I started reflecting on what I did few days ago, my brain just abandoned me like someone who has not read for an exam and entered the hall to write.
My kid sister she disappeared the moment she understood what was happening, I just stayed on the sofa staring at Beauty who was busy watching whatever she was streaming.
I would not have given her my house key, I just forgot she is not the only one am dating. I rubbed my sweaty palms together, I started practicing how to ‘say sorry’ or lies that I will chirp in if she find anything incriminating.
While streaming she raised her head momentarily studying me and continued.
Her face became remorseful the moment she was done, I knew she might have done that two days ago. I breathed and fumed like someone who was angry.
She stood up and walked to were I’m and sat beside me, she looked at me with her remorseful face.
Me: you don’t trust me?
Beauty: am sorry, please forgive me she rest her head on my shoulder and start sobbing
Umashi: daddy, please forgive her na she start sobbing with Beauty, birbery and corruption
Me: why do you think am cheating on you?
Beauty: baby, am sorry.
She moved my face to face her’s, she placed her irresistible lips on mine, and both lips danced in harmony and my anger melted away all of a sudden as if I was angry, lol.
That is how we settled, Beauty was all fun that day, she was all over me being a sweet girlfriend she is.
We went to the kitchen and we messed the whole placeup, she asked me to teach her how to cook. She was scared of fire, I wondered why.
Me: why do you say you will get burnt if you get close to fire? she laugh like a silly person
Beauty: tears tickle down her eyes I lost my older sister to fire accident.
Me: I hug her tight, she must have loved that person so much am sorry.
Beauty: for?
Me: for burning a member of your family on behalf of mr fire.
Beauty: laughing you are just too crazy, I love you baby.
Me: I love you more.
Umashi: I go love oohh! is my ear paining me
Me: will you keep quiet there! No be your mate dey shout I go get admission oh! I go read oh! You dey here dey shout I go love oh!! The food wey you dey chop dey make your brain no stable, I go soon conduct fasting.
She disappeared from the kitchen immediately, I must watched this small girl like eagle before one thing one thing ehnn… According to Rema, Beauty and I moved out of the kitchen after she helped me prepared a delicious egusi soup, she went into the bathroom and had her bath.
She came out looking gorgeous.
Beauty: close your eyes I was over staring
Me: why na?
Beauty: do you want to see me n***d? as if I never see am
Me: Umashi, close your eyes.
Umashi: daddy, am watching television is you that was looking aunty is this girl not ogbanje or wetin be this?
Me: na your food you dey reduce oh!!
Umashi: daddy, i have close eyes oh!! better, we shall not seeI did not close eyes anyways, I pretended to have done so but I was watching her nakedness, and I came to the conclusion that am very lucky to have such a beautiful boss lady as my girlfriend, don’t forget am now a boss oh!When she was done dressed up…
Beauty: am done.
Me: let me walk you, baby.
Umashi: aunty bye bye she start standing up
Me: where you wan go?
Umashi: to escort aunty, is she not leaving?
The way I eyed her she just sat back on the floor and faced the screen, I walked my baby to the gate gisting with her.
Ikenna: brother Vic good evening.
Me: Ikenna, you don visit us today, how school na?
Ikenna: he stare at Beauty for long fine oh, aunty good evening.
Beauty: Ikenna left why was he looking at me like that?
Me: he has never seen someone as beautiful as you are we start laughing, all these yard people sabi amebo oh Ikenna is one of my neighbor brother who usually visit for a day or two and leave for school, a level 100 undergraduate.
Beauty and I kissed for awhile before she drove out, I returned back and the whole night gave in to day without any remarkable event. I got to office that day, to see loads of applications files on my desk.
Me: wetin be this?
Secretary: sir, those are the application letters for the vacancy you asked us to advertise.
Me: na only one position them dey apply for?
Secretary: yes, sir na wa oh, that sir sound so new
Me: get a team of accountant, they should oversee a test for the applicants, I will handle the interview personally.
Secretary: that will be done, sir this sir sound sweeter
After my secretary left my office, I started walking around the industry. Checking on the works being done,I went to the marketing section and saw one of the employee, well sitted with a pen in his hand, a paper on the desk which he was writing on. He was looking at nothingness, he did not even notice my presence.
Me: mr. Dan!Mr.
Dan: sir… Good mor… Afternoon, sir!
Me: meet me in my office, right away. I went to my office and settled down waiting for him to join me, he opened the door looking scared.
Me: you look miserable, wetin happen? Please have a seat. he sit
Mr. Dan: is family issues.
Me: na you wan kill yourself, family issues dey finish?
Mr. Dan: I cheated on my wife.
Me: I start laughing, as you wan die like this? You still dey fine young girls to kill you that is not a problem.
Mr Dan.: my wife caught me.
Me: that is now a problem, wait oh! Why you even cheat sef?
Mr. Dan: sir ehnn… We have lots of beautiful girls, and they all have something special to offer. Some have gorgeous brasts and some wonderful asses, some arevery hot. You cannot get all the packages in one, na emmake oh! I did not realize my mouth was ajar
Me: you can have a day off, settle your family issues.
Mr. Dan: thank you sir. I looked at him and shook my head, all these two minutes men will not keep their dcks one place.
After the work that day, I returned home and met my sister with Ikenna talking and laughing at my frontage, Jesus Christ!
Umashi: smiling daddy, welcome.
Ikenna: brother Vic, good afternoon. See her mouth like daddy welcome.
Umashi: leave me jor in my front!?
Me: afternoon, so Ikenna when are you travelling back to school?
Ikenna: I am not going back to school compound for now… what is this one saying?
To be continued
