Toto Pass Toto – 18+)
EPISODE 9
I removed the phone from my ear and looked at the screen, it must be those stupid kids that guess number just to insult someone, lazy youth.
Me: your brain don rust? I nodey sell grease oh.
Voice: Vic, shut up! Is me Victoria.
Me: chiaaa!! Aaahhh!! Aunty Vy Vy!
Voice: aunty Vy Vy break your prck there, I be your aunty and I open legs you gree enter.
Me: no vex na, you never still change at all… I dey miss you die oh.
Voice: miss ke, you wey no gree come my wedding. You no dey gree reply whatsapp messages sef, and your fb account no dey active.
Me: them thief my phone then, and I no know about the wedding. I been dey fine your number but aunty Ruth don park go where I no know, chaii… You don marry? Who see you marry?
Voice: laughing mumu boy, I don born sef.
Me: chaaiii… Congratulations, I dey see your husband spirit dey cry, you wey sabi worry.
Voice: I don repent na, I even win best wife and mother of last year. Come see my baby, she don grow sef.
Me: this one you dey invite me, hope say em no resemble me sha..
Voice: your brain dey pain you, I go send you address for whatsapp.
Me: okay, I go try come.
Voice: commot try, iffa no see you. I go vex oh… Bye.
She ended the call, I went inside smiling reminiscing onthe past that connect Victoria and I. Victoria was a nurse that lived in my area while I was still in my Sss3, she was very fond of me then and she took me as her house son. I was a saint then, the little I knew about sx then was prn and msturbation, have never done anything until Victoria discovered that I have never had sx.
She only said she will make me a man someday, it was house son house son she shifted my boxer. I went inside and met Victory eating the soup I prepared…
Me: oboy, them said you?
Victory: no vex, hungry wan finish me.
Me: you still go nyash Ada.
Victory: how you take know?
Me: them print am for your forehead, make that man no discover oh.
I washed my hands and joined him, we finished the food.
After few rounds of game, I took my bath and slept off.
The next morning I went to work, I worked very hard just to meet up time to visit Park with Victory and Kelly.
2pm, I round up my duties and took permission from the director, he granted it with favor, am suspecting Abigail sha… I was short of cash and I branched a bank close to my work place, I was seeing four people before me until…
Man: em don start to pay he scream happily
Woman: oga, you dey do like woman, why you tell them?‘Them’ I did not understand the them until I started seeing people coming from different directions.
Me: na wa oh!
Voices: oga you dey my front! Respect yourself oh, you don old!! Foolish man, shift!!! Taahh! You dey my back.
After they are done arranging themselves, that is when I knew there are invincible six in the queue of four people I saw Afterer.
The bank was only bank in that area, I waited patiently under the sun for hours before it remained just two people before me, one stood in the atm machine making withdrawal while the other stood on the queue.
Man 1: oga, you dey waste time oh. Na ATM machine not compute game.
Me: make this man do, commot na.I looked behind me and saw that the population has increased, I caught sight of Ogechi.
A gal I was head over kneels then, after I told her that I don’t need sx from her but love.
Did not realize I was dating myself for over six Months, till I visited her and caught her red-handed with a boy on her.
I peeped through window sha… ‘Cause no one was responding to the door, I faced forward and pretended not to see her.
A soft tap landed on my back, I turned.
Ogechi: Vic, you just forgot about me?
Me: Do I know you?
Ogechi: is me na, Ogechi beaming
Me: chaii.. Ogechi, you don fine scatter ground finish, where you dey live now na?
Ogechi: na for this area na, help me make withdrawal.
Me: no problem, wetin be your pin?
Ogechi: *** 20k, thank you honey she peck me
Me: no problem hahaha
Man2: don’t insult me young. man! Do you know who I am? I will just lock you up.
Man1: oga shift, who you be?!
Me: oga, go withrawl na. You dey waste time oh.
He left for the ATM machine and left the other man ranting beside me, after he was done with his withdrawal he came out and both of them continued.
I went to the ATM machine and slotted in my card, and made a withdrawal.
They came out, Ogechi rushed me immediately smiling.
Ogechi: how far, you don help me withdrawl?
Me: them write insufficient balance, I no withdrawl am.
Ogechi: I get 90k na, how manage?
Me: em fit be network, where you dey stand? she point back back*
Ogechi: person go sleep for where…
Me: ehyaa… We go see na, I dey in a hurry.
I left the bank premises and took a taxi, I placed a call to Victory.
Me: where ona dey?
Victory: come meet us for Biggy house, we don see person.
Me: ona sabi rush oh, I dey come.
Victory: come quick oh.
He ended the call, I flagged down a taxi and entered.
Asked him to take me direct to Biggy’s yard, before an hour I arrived there and met Kelly with Victory standing outside the yard, with one rugged guy that his lips spoke volume of weed was here.
Kelly: guy you waste time oh.
Me: why ona dey wait here, what is the challenge?
Park guy: wey the toto wey dey make mouth, my show am say p—k get sizes, my blood dey hot. Ona dey waste time.
Victory: I trust you Kelly and I, walk away from were both of them stand
Me: na the burnt offering be that?
Kelly: carry your voice down, we need to carry Biggy commot from the room.
Me: na small challenge be that. I scrolled through my contact list and find Chidi’s number, I placed a call to him.
Chidi was once recruited into state government baby police scheme, till the governor dissolved them.
Me: Chidi, how far na?
Chidi: I dey oh, anything for your guy?
Me: money dey ground, your police uniform still dey?
Chidi: yes na, who you wan scam?
Me: scam kill you there, you fit lap where I dey stay?
Chidi: we go charge you 10k as my guy oh, I go bring another person.
Me: just come first… I dey wait, no waste time. I ended the call…We went to were Victory and the guy they brought from the park stood, he already lit cigarette and started dragging smoke releasing it to the air afterwards. I examined the guy and he looked good, the blueprint must have been Kelly and Victory.
Park guy: wey the toto na? Ona pay me to stand?cigarette bass
Me: oga chill, just wait small.
After some minutes Chidi arrived with another guy with police uniform, I went to meet them and we shook hands.
Me: Chiko! You look so officer, sure sir!!
Chidi: see why thunder go fire you, wetin be the deal?
Me: you nodey use money play o.
Chidi friend: make ona do na, before people go suspect.
Me: you carry your kinsman too, you know that my guy Biggy?
Chidi: that one I see you with that day?
Me: you get am, enter that my room. You go see am with one girl, arrest am.
Chidi: no issues, wey the money?
Me: you never do the work na.
Chidi: you wan use my head, pay before service or I go waka jeje.
Me: hiss collect, you love money pass your wife womb.
Chidi: counting the money em remain 1k to complete.
Me: i go balance you after the job he shake his head oya take na.
Chidi: is complete, officer Abuchi!!
Abuchi: yes, sir!
Chidi: lets go…Both of them went inside the yard, while I waited alongside the trio I was with earlier.
After some minutes they came out with Biggy from the other entrance and we all went inside. I trust Chidi, the one he way he was forcing Biggy like an officer ehnn… Fear those who has undergo police training in Nigeria.
We got to the door and Kelly held back the guy…
Kelly: as you just enter, start to n***d yourself.
Park guy: na wetin dey my mind sef, my p—k dey stand since weed oh
Kelly: no f–k up oh, f–k her like say her pssy na em make you poor he nod and head to the door
Me: Kelly mad oh!
Victory: what if the girl see am shout rape, I go just run leave ona.
Kelly: she nofit see dck reject.
Voice: who are you, and what are you doing here?
Park guy: na me be the person wey go scatter your toto.
Voice: what! Ooohh.. Is so big!!
Me: the thing don click oh, Victory carry Biggy go Kelly house I no want em wahala for now.
Hungry dey catch me, I dey enter house… My call Chidi to bring am back.
I placed a call to Chidi while I was walking out of the yard.
Me: Chiko, bring am back.
Chidi: your guy dey vomit something wey dey like waterwater.
Me: after em don vomit finish, bring am come yard back.
Chidi: okay na. I ended the call and picked bike, I took carb heading to my house. I was so stressed out, I took my bath and ate then sleptoff.
My phone ringing tone woke me up…
Me: aunty Vicky, good evening?
Victory: you don see the address I send for your whatsapp.
Me: no, I never enter whatsapp. Which side you dey live?
Victory: I dey live for Ojoto junction.
Me: em no far from here, my baf come.
Victory: I dey wait for you oh, no fall my brasts oh.
Me: na your husband go do that one laughingI ended the call and dressed up, I did a make over and went outside the gate, I saw a taxi and flagged down. It was already getting late.
Me: driver Ojoto.
Driver: you get change?
Me: yes.
Driver: enter. I did not check the people that were in the car, I just balanced inside.
After some minutes I looked around to see the passengers around me, I saw three other rugged guys.
I became scared…
Me: Driver, abeg drop me for here… I nodey go again.
Driver: you don already enter. i face the other guys in the taxi
Me: make ona see wahala oh, I no wan go again. Make ona help me beg the driver.
One of them sprayed sth on my face and I lost consciousness, I woke up to see myself tied to a chair, I could feel it but could not see anything ’cause I was blindfolded.
The blindfold was removed and I saw Tracy standing before smirking…
Me: aunty Tracy.
Tracy: you don add aunty to my name?
laughing wickedly*
Me: no be so, abeg na. I dey sorry for all the things, I don do you.
Tracy: laughing you never even start to beg, Jack!
Jack: yes, boss!
Tracy: bring the scissor, I wan cut em p***s I start sweating I did not know where to start the begging, I was shocked and scared with confusion at a time I started reflecting on my life and realized I will not even be allowed to even see the gate or way to heaven’s gate at all.
There are three hefty guys behind Tracy, and Jack she called earlier stepped forward with tailor scissor that scared the shit out of me .I trembled at the sight of scissor wondering how to get out of this mess.
Tracy: I wan help you cut your number one problem laughing
Me: Tracy, em never reach like this na, remember the love we shared. How well I treated you, you remember when you don’t have a shoulder to cry on and a time everyone forbids you, I was there for you. my words where working small small
Tracy: and you later destroyed my life, that fine bobo don engage me for marriage. Na you ’cause wey I still never marry when my mate don marry shouting at me
Me: I no know, no vex. Tracy, you know say I love you, I for no hurt you. If you no hurt me too! I cry out with tears
Tracy: me hurt you? Sandra tell me say you dey carry girls upadan. Because of say I no confront you, you think say I be fool? After I use my money dey help your life.
I just send you that message so that you go know how em dey pain, when you cheat on your partner.
Me: wetin you dey talk sef?
Me cheat on you?
Tracy: oh! You think say I no go know, Sandra tell me everything, how you dey sweet talk her to come your house so that you go use your yeye p—k chuk for her toto.
Me: wait wait! I no understand, na Sandra tell you all these things?
Tracy: you no know say Sandra no be just my friend, she be my bestie.
Me: laughing insanely Sandra format your brain with lies, why you no ask me? she start looking confuse
Tracy: I know say na truth.
Me: bring my number call Sandra, you go know who dey lie for our two.
She was surprised the boldness I talked with, and signaled one of the guys behind her to get my phone to her.
She took my phone and dialed Sandra number, it rang twice before she accepted the call.
Tracy gave me the phone to continue the call..
Sandra: hello, who is this?
Me: Sandra, is me… Victor, Tracy’s ex.
Sandra: jeezz.. Victor! Where have you been na!?
Me: I just dey oh.
Sandra: where na? You nodey live for that yard again. You never still forget about that idiot Tracy? Tracy look shock
Me: no be Tracy na, I need to hustle na em make I commot from the yard.
Sandra: eyaa! So, why you call me today? You don agree for wetin I been dey tell you?
Me: I never know how em go be, I doubt whether if you go still like me.
Sandra: I love you die! Where you dey stay? I want make you dey give me all these things wey Tracy dey tell me.
Tracy angrily snatched the phone from my hand and ended the call, she probably would have switched off the phone as she went out of the room angrily, followed by one of the guys.
The other one left behind blindfolded my eyes and I could not see anything,I only heard the sound of the wall switch.
I felt for Tracy she would have went about confiding in her so called friend Sandra about our lively sx life, I did not know when I slept off. I woke up the next morning tired and hungry, my body were aching me as my head bang like a drummer was inside.
I heard the door sounds and felt the presence of peoplein the room.
Me: hungry wan kill me, em no go sweet iffa die with empty stomach na yawning
Voice1: how far for Ejiro na?
Voice2: I go soon close that girl chapter oh, she dey always aunty aunty anytime I tell am make em come house, but she nodey aunty anytime she dey collect money from me oh!
Voice1: na wa oh! Leave that girl oh, before she go finish you.
Me: you don f–k up na, if you leave compass wey don set tay tay the room become quiet
Voice2: bro, wetin you mean?
Me: your problem na small challenge, put am for her body say you wan take her outing. She go come out, from there she no go get choice than to follow you come house.
Voice1: you sure em go work?
Me: like never before.
Voice2: if your plan no work, you go starve to death for here. Piro, pass am that food. I heard foot-falls and after some minutes the blindfold was taken off from my eyes, I felt relief at least am better than a blind man.
The other guy fed me with spoons of rice, I ate like there is no tomorrow which is a doubt on my side.
Me: thank you. after draining a cup of water
Piro: just pray make wetin you tell am click, if not.. You don die here oh! he warnThat is when I realized the other guy has left earlier,The blindfold was returned to my face, I spent the whole day pinned to the chair as I lost track of days and time.
A long period of time I was left in the room, as I kept on yelling on top of my voice.
There was no response and the door ceased to make any sounds, suddenly the door burst open and made a contact with wall which generated a loud slam.
Heavy foot-falls walked hastily approaching me, I was startled and scared.
Voice1: guy!!! yelling at me*
My heart jumped inside my mouth, as I find it difficult to breathe when the owner of the foot-falls touched me, he removed the blindfold and I saw Jack smiling down happily at me.
Jack: you be tight ashewo I chuckle
Me: abeg, give me food make I chop.
Jack: no reason food again, you go soon enter house.
Me: my stomach dey sing hungry song, my first settle them.
He untied me completely and asked me to eat the fried rice he bought from one of those eatery that I guessed is close by, the room was locked and Jack went out.
After I devoured the meal, I lay down on the floor and slept off, I made no effort to escape ’cause I have resigned to my fate.
It was in the Evening when Jack came back with Piro…
Jack: bro, make you no reason, Tracy say make you no vex, she even dey shame to come see you.
Me: na revenge carry this matter reach here, I nodey think go that side at all.
Piro: I trust you, you be guy man. Carry this tp reach house and your phone, the tp go do you?
Me: yes, ona thank you I set out for home
Jack: the guy plan work like magic, I give the girl d***y 6 5 9, the toto sweet die.
Piro: laughing Bayelsa toto na water water. I did not bother to hear more, the last thing on my mind is to talk about woman. I left my phone switched off, luckily for me.
My room key is with me, I flagged down two taxi and none of them stopped so that I can enter.
Probably they think me as a madman, I was not actually mad but I looked unkempt.
One vehicle that looks like it will soon die or stop to move stopped and carried me, well…
I chuckled inwardly ’cause that is the vehicle befitting my standard.
I looked back and realized mainly it was goods behind the only bench I sat in the bus, I exhaled lightly.
A driver and a man sat on the front seat…
Driver: I pity the man, em only cheat on his wife and she stab am to death.
Man: you call am only cheat?
Driver: yes na, em never reach for person to kill her husband. You reason am na.
Man: my tell you something, em get one time I been dey hear say my wife dey f–k another person, I no bother to ask if the rumour na truth or not. I just vex dey carry girls upadan, I no come dey reason my wife for bed as I dey get am from young blood. I return house one day, my pikin and wife I no see till now.
Driver: yeeee! Bros, na truth you dey talk?
Man: yes, no be joke. I just busy myself with my thought, I had the urge to stop any form of double dating. I did not even know who to choose among them, I got to my destination and tapped on the bus.
Driver: women dey reason after them don do sth finish, oga you wan come down? turning back at me
Me: yes, how much be your money? both of them start laughing I knew the question I asked was a stupid one, one thing I realized is that women are driven by their emotions.
Never make her emotions go insane, I came down and find my way home. On getting to my house, I saw Beauty car parked on mygate. I realized it was Friday, I entered the gate and saw her sitted on my frontage. I wondered where Musa has gone to, Beauty stood up looking angry, she approached me and thundered my face with resounding slap, and the world stop rotating.
Beauty: you are alive, God! Who did this to you? she hug me tight
Me: I was kidnapped for days, am now fine.
We disengaged and I unlocked my apartment, we went inside.
I took my bath and she took me to the hospital,After the doctor gave me treatment Beauty decided we should spend time in a beach.
Beauty: baby, you are yet to tell me who is behind your ordeal.
Me: I don’t know baby, let us just forget about it the last thing on my mind is to start another war
Beauty: here we are!!We both came down from the car and locked hands, we went about chasing each other along the water line in the beach.
Beauty was a crazy twerker, as she asked me to sit on the sand and she moved what her mama gave to her like crazy.
We were tired after we exploit the bar and the City nightlife, we decided to go home.
She drove to my gate…
Beauty: do you know tomorrow is valentine?
Me: I exhale uneasily no, I don’t.
Beauty: now you know, you better get my gift ready.
Me: ma yes ma.
Beauty: I love you.
Me: I love y
ou more we kiss slowly are you not coming in?She shook her head and we said ‘goodnight’, and she drove out.
My heart was heavy, I had the idea that Beauty has find another lover, maybe is because she just avoided having sx with me. I went home and took my bath, then jumped on my long missed bed and slept off like baby.
Hopeful to wake up as giant until a loud bang on my protector woke me up, I stood up ready to pounce on the fool behind the protector until I saw that the fool was also ready to pounce and devour anybody he is going to see. I saw Ada husband dressed like a wrestler behind the protector breathing coal and fire.
Me: Sam, good morning.
Sam: what is good about the morning, where is your brother? sb pikin cannot take holiday from problem*
To be continued..
