Toto Pass Toto – 18+)
EPISODE 7
Biggy: gone to where?
Me: your sense dey follow pain you as your eyes? You no see this text message?
Biggy: em no mean anything joor.. Na so girls wey you don sample well dey do, so that another person no go enjoy wetin them don enjoy.
Me: you sure Biggy?
Biggy: yes na…
Me: no underestimate the power of a jealous lady oh.
Biggy: professor underestimate, come put hand here.I did not know were the strength came from probably isfrom the text message, I stood up and helped Biggy to clean up the room. A call came into my phone, I checked the caller and the Id showed Kelly.
Kelly: oboy where you dey?
Me: I dey house with Biggy, why you dey ask?
Kelly: make ona two lap my house now now!And the call ended, Kelly is a friend to I and Biggy. Our three formed the pssy chasers club then that landed us behind bars, since then Kelly and his doings is a badnews to me.
Kelly happened to shift any size of pnt, according to him “na the face I go chop?”
Me: Lashi, Ke boy flash em forefathers.
Biggy: but ona two talk small na.
Me: which talk? I swear MTN no fit capture the minute.
Biggy: wetin em talk?
Me: em say make our two come now now, but I nodey go.
Biggy: do make we dey go, what if em need us pass oxygen. No forget say na our man, em fit dey danger.
Me: em better no concern danger oh, I nofit fight Kelly wars oh.
Biggy: Kelly know sef, you be peace maker 1 and 2.laughing
Me: guy, the thing no be joke oh, em better no be to fight.We immediately took a quick shower one after the other, I was the last to go in and I made sure Biggy begged me in practically all I should do. Were you thinking we bathed together, may the gods forbid am no gay.
After we wore our clothes, we went outside together and I was about locking the gate…
Kate: repent! Repent!! Fornicators!!! The kingdom of God is at hand, on that judgment day… she shouted aloud from her frontage
Biggy: you no tell me say you dey live close to psychia na.
Me: you don see am oh, Beauty don announce to everyone say I be fornicator for the yard.
Kate: the bible says flee from fornication…We just ignored her and asked Musa to open gate for us, we came out on the street and Biggy started wavingto a beautiful girl across the road who just came out to pour water inside the dirty gutter that runs beside the road. She waved back and he started smiling broadly like cat fish.
Me: you know the babe?
Biggy: for where? Creating awareness for future invasion.
Me: shey you know say her father na invader?
Biggy: wetin you mean?
Me: her father na beware of dog in form of human being.
Biggy: em no want make em daughter marry again?
Me: thank God you say marriage, em no want person wey go use in the name of boyfriend dey f–k em daughter like prnstar.
Biggy: haters..! I go still shoot my shot.
Me: goodluck for you, taxi.. Ojefel man.
Ojefel: tufiaaa… I nodey carry ona.He drove past us and I became ashamed of myself, we just missed a free taxi sha… We later took a taxi that we charge money, “em no go better for Ojefel man oh”.When we dropped at Kelly house, we went to the door and knocked. He opened the door sweating and smiling.
Me: guy? You dey cook with fire inside room
.Kelly: no… Na one gal I dey bleep o, she say my invite ona, say only me nofit satisfy her. both of laughing
Me: na you call me, how wish say na sx you call me for. I for dey my dey.
Biggy: no mind am, how many rounds ona don go already?
Kelly: six, I take TM.. I don tire sef, na em make I call ona.
Biggy: Kelly you don f–k up, na that small girl wey I go handle she go grab her pnt fly window and fence with one jump
.Kelly: come make her jump fence and Jericho wall, she dey n***d inside.
Biggy: Vic you nodey come? Sorry, I don forget say Beauty have turn your long dragon to bent and fallen.
Kelly: laughing leave my g, make we go inside…Both of them went inside and I waited for them on the verandah, I was expecting a girl to man but nothing as such happened instead I was hearing Biggy’s loud throaty pleasure groans.
After two hours…
Biggy: I no want do again! Biggy shout from insideI ran inside to check what was happening, I saw Kelly laughing and rolling on the floor and a n***d girl mounted on Biggy who laid helplessly beneath her.
Girl: I never tire…
Biggy: abeg na…!! she turn to me
Girl: you be the next person? chewing gum
Me: God no go gree, noooo!She resumed the riding on Biggy ignoring his plea.
Biggy: I go die oh! Kelly help me na!! breathing heavily I just closed the door behind me and navigated myself home, I came out of the, broken gate to the open street.
I realized that I did not have enough money on me for vehicle to convey me home, I was still battling with the thought of going inside or trekking a fifty naira distance.
When a man that I did not understand his dressing walked upto me, I raised my head and scanned the both sides of the street and saw his co-workers in vineyard of 419 hanging around.
Man1: oga good afternoon, I no know road. Na person just help me with transport my go receive healing, you be child of God?
Me:…. I nod
Man1: oga abeg, I wan see one healer wey them dey call Jesus.you fit show me heaven road? is like this one wan escort me
Me: I nod …. pointing towards were I want to go.
I opened the door and saw Albino standing at the door with a tight pink gown, torn on her right leg up to her laps. She was glowing and slaying me with her perky bobs, ’cause she was not wearing any bra and I assumed she neither wore pnt, she came prepared and sx was the last thing on my mind.
Me: Albino, chia… You fine die, you fine pass queen of England.
Albino: abegii.. Shift joor.
Me: this one you remember me today, I go make heaven if na so.
Albino: you dey fine talk, wetin you cook? she enter inside the kitchen
Me: nothing oh, cook for us na.
Albino: I resemble your wife, see your mouth like cook for us talking from the kitchen
Me: you know iffa I go marry you after you cook for me,nodey open pots like that. Na bachelor kitchen be that oh, and those pots are liable to rape.
She returned to the bedroom were I was lying on the bed with just boxer, with a glass of juice in her hand.
Albino: na only wetin you sabi, sx and rape always on your mind, you nofit cook.
Me: you don see am na, this one you no wear bra. Hope am safe?Albino: you be learner?Me: yes na, am a virgin in the Lord Albino laughing
Albino: you wey devil don prepare sx room for hell fire, you go manage indomie do the work?
Me: which work?
Albino: go ask Rihanna, my go prepare the noodles.
She entered inside the kitchen and started cooking, I was still thinking on what to tell Albino. Releasing more proteins from my body was not a good option to me at all, a knock landed on my door, at first I was scared it might be Beauty.
One mind was telling me to inform Albino to lie that she is my sister, I do not want to die young.
I kicked against that thought and went ahead opening the door that the person at the door knocked incessantly.
Me: break the door, say your papa na carpenter.
Voice: open door joor I open it
Me: Victory, mumu boy, how far?
Victory: I just dey na, you nodey reason your twin bro.
Me: no be so, bro. Na hustle ’cause am oh, come inside. Who give you the address?
Victory: na Biggy.
Me: Biggy don join press men we enter inside the bedroom We were discussing when Albino brought two plates filled with noodles, the smell of the food was unusual and I was suspecting she added weed to the indomie.
Victory: pretty, you are so beautiful, bro na your babe bethis?
Me: no oh, na my best friend.
Albino: thank you.
Me: babe meet my twin brother.
Albino: ona be twin, why you come black em come fair?
Me: when you see my mama ask her, I dey come my go buy sth.
Victory: I wan eat oh, this food go sweet die.
Albino: this food na for people wey wan do work.
Me: no worry make ona two eat first, my go buy tools for the work. I signaled my brother to handle her on my behalf, I used my eyes and directed him to where condoms are kept in my room. I came out and called Biggy line, it rang twice before hepicked.
Biggy: oboy, where you dey? low voice
Me: you dey talk like person wey get accident, I dey come your house right away.
Biggy: accident kill you there, I just return from sx hospital. Abeg, come quick quick, before man pikin die. I ended the call and walked out to the open street through the gate, I was waiting for a car when I saw Chichi crossing the road to come and meet me.
I pretended that I did not see her and flagged down a taxi, and the idiot driver did not stop immediately.
Chichi: Victor! Wait for me… walking towards me
Me: Chi the heavy duty, cause trouble she beam with her heavy gap teeth
Chichi: you just dump your gal, where you dey live now na, I be come check you for that yard you been dey live before.
Driver: oga, you still dey go? smiling like otondo
Me: no, I don park for that side since na. pretending not to hear the driver
Chichi: you dey live here? the driver jejely move his car
Me: no, I dey live for Kingdom their side now. Make we talk later, I wan go see my aunty wey get accident for hospital, give me your number my call you?
Chichi: no, give me your own she bring out her phone
Me: thank God my phone is on silence 08041966600, my phone dey for charge.
Chichi: okay, the thing dey ring, no forget to call me oh I nod I gave her Beauty phone number, she left and I took a taxi down to my former yard were Biggy now stays.
The children of the yard ran towards me, immediately they saw me.
Children: brother! Brother!! Brother!!!
Me: children! Children!! Children!!!
Children: yes, uncle!!! they start laughing
Me: make ona share this money.
I gave them Nigeria highest currency and left them fighting over it, I was shocked to see a girl foot wear on the door post of Biggy’s room.
I knocked..Voice: come in…
I recognized the voice immediately and entered, I met the girl that was at Kelly’s house.
She wore only a bum short and bra, pressing her phone on the bed.
Me: fine babe, what of Biggy?
Girl: em dey wash clothes for backyard.
Me: thank you.
I left the room and went to the backyard, I saw Biggy drying a girl’s p*nt and bra on the rope.
Me: wetin happen? Biggy! wetin happen?
Biggy: very busy washing guy wait small abeg, remain small I don wash finish.
Me: na village and city people combine do you this thing, hiiiiaaaa… I dey see you dey wash pant oh.
Biggy: em no matter na, las las no be me go smell and shift am, I love to wash what I use.
Me: I don see am like that, you don dey wear pant too? Ino blame you. washing of pant is now your hobby.
Biggy: am madly in love with this girl, bro.. I can die for her, I can even kill anyone for her I shift small first
Me: is that so?The backyard window was pushed open and it gave way to the face of the girl I saw in Biggy’s room earlier.
Girl: drop what you are washing and come inside to prepare a meal for me.
Biggy: yes my love the girl eye me up and down, then hiss
Biggy ran inside the yard shouting like a demented goat chased by ten thousand hungry pythons.
Biggy: am in love jumping and shouting
Me: n wa o, this is wonderful… Biggy is wonderfool.
Me: my commot here, before I sign for slavery. I quickly followed the backyard and came out on the tarred road, I did not bother saying goodbye to Biggy because of the Karashika with him. I was still walking towards the main road, when I sighted Ekpemaetor entering the street I was.
I quickly hid myself in a shop along the road.
Ekpemaetor is the area ‘owe me die’ he is a PHD holder in borrowing, he borrows from anybody and anytime, he owes 80% of people living in this area.
Immediately he walked pass the shop, I came out quickly.
Me: hey, Owe me die he want to run but change his mind ’cause we are close
Ekpemaetor: Victor my man, fine boy. Shake me hand first.
Me: I wan shake your pocket i start searching his trouser pocket
Ekpemaetor: guy free me na, no be only you I dey owe na.
Me: that one concern ona, I don tuwama with my own money.
I was not comfortable about Biggy’s situation, I returned to the house when the sun has left the sky.
I saw my brother sleeping with his dck inside Albino’s mouth. Who was also sleeping, I shook my head.
I cooked and ate, then bath. Albino was to wake up first, before she waked up my brother.
Albino: thieves!! she shout all of a sudden*
Me: where you see thief?
Victory: bro, wetin you dey enjoy na?
Me: expired weed and r2.
Albino: wetin be r2?
Victory: em mean the girl own.
Victory and Albino ate together, and he escorted her to get a taxi. I could not leave the room ’cause I was thinking of a way to help my friend.
My twin brother came back and met me in deep thought,
Victory: this one you dey think like married man with six children, wetin happen?
Me: Biggy don turn house boy.
Victory: why em come go apply for that kind of job?
Me: this one pass president servant, the problem here be say.
Them nodey pay am anything.
Victory: you no mean am?
Me: I resemble AY, Biggy don go eat chop and mumu.
As we dey talk now, Biggy dey wash toto with omo and soap.
Victory: chisos! Chisos!! You know say na our guy, where em go see that gal sef?
Me: na Kelly oh, na em go give am that witch.
Victory: make we go jazzy Kelly, em go give us solution.
Me: no be today, na tomorrow.
After we played PS4, we decided to sleep with the thought of us visiting Kelly after I returned from work the next day.
I was sleeping when I dreamt, I saw myself walking n***d on a bushy footpath.
I started hearing a loud voice from behind…
Voice: stop! Victor, do not go?I looked back and saw no one, again I turned to walk to the direction I was and the other voice kept on calling out to me…
A girl with a gun stood before me.
Girl: you betray me, and cheat on me. I will kill you!
Me: no! Please do not kill me, I love you.
She shot me twice and I woke up drenched with sweats. Shouting…
Me: Jesus!!!!
To be continued
