Living With My Grandma
Episode 10 đ
The following week, Kate was finally back from the weekend. During one of her early morning checkups on me, I opened up to her about my plight. I told her everything Meska said. I needed to hear someone elseâs opinion. Kate was mute for some seconds after I narrated my ordeal.
When finally she cleared her throat, she said he has the right to know if he is the father of my unborn child. She also said I shouldnât go back to Meska just like that, or else Iâd end up regretting my decision.
Kate said and I paraphrase: âWhat if he didnât meet you at the cyber cafĂ©? What if you tell him heâs not the one responsible? Do you think he would want to continue?â She went on with so many âwhat ifâ questions that she seemed to be offended by Meskaâs action. It was as if she was taking it personally and I felt she was pained.
Well, that wasnât all from Kate. She still said I should follow my heart, so it wouldnât seem as if she was the one that made decisions for me. I could tell from her words that she didnât want it to be obvious she didnât like Meska. I appreciated her thoughts and suggestions too.
Truth is, my mind was long made up not to have any business with Meska again even though I still missed him as my first love but going back to him was something I dreaded so much. It felt like going back to my vomits. Though I have watched movies and read books in which the protagonist eventually ended up with her ex-boyfriend after a terrible breakup. Well, people are different and unique and I felt I couldnât deal with going back to Meska after what he did.
So I did exactly what Kate had said to me. It was during one of his regular WhatsApp pestering that I told him I was carrying his baby. Meska was so excited. He used all manner of stickers to express how he felt. I was just wondering why he was excited. While he texted in two lines, I replied reluctantly in one line. I used words like, Okay, yeah, I donât know, donât ask me.
Not even a single emoji accompanied my texts. He was busy writing epistles, asking when he would see me again. He said he needed us to talk, do this, and that. I should send him my address. I shunned him to keep off from me, that he shouldnât bother looking for me because he wouldnât succeed.
He kept holding on to the fact I was carrying his baby to the extent I regretted why I told him earlier. Maybe I shouldnât have informed him
For good two days, Meska texted me morning and night, trying to rekindle the fire but little did he know the ashes had been watered with a bucket of water. I canât explain what came over me that I was able to shut off the feelings to go back to him. Maybe I didnât want him to add to my problems.
I eventually blocked him on WhatsApp and blocked his line too. It was not something I planned on doing but he pushed me so hard that I felt it was the best option and I didnât regret blocking him. He was always calling me on WhatsApp and video calls too, he was becoming a nuisance, so I stopped him from messing with my mental health. If not for anything, for the sake of my studies and well-being. I deserved some peace of mind.
That was how Meska and I stopped communicating, and whenever an unknown number called, I simply ignored it. I felt he was the one.
So, one day when I doubted my instincts, I answered a call from one of the random numbers that had been calling me, lol, and behold, it was his voice that pierced through my phone. I hanged up immediately and blocked that one too. He finally stopped calling.
He wanted me back but I didnât want him as much as he desired and longed for me. The thought of him betraying me despite all I did for him made me feel he doesnât deserve a second chance. Maybe later, but not now that Iâm faced with school challenges and hurdles, I said to myself.
My first semester at Unizik wasnât an easy ride. But even though I felt uncomfortable, I was determined to succeed in my studies. I tried my best to ignore the judgment around me and focus on school. I wanted to set a good example for my unborn baby. I wanted to show him that itâs important never to back down from a challenge. There is no such thing as giving up. So I stood strong enough despite all odds.
Darlington visited one of the weekends. He came on a Friday evening and left the next day because nobody was staying with grandma. While he was with me, we talked and laughed out loud. I had always enjoyed his company. At night, he opted to sleep on the floor but I pleaded for him to share the bed with me but Darlington said he was fine with the floor, I gave him one of my wrappers, so he used it.
Iâm sure you understand what he was trying to avoid. Yes, he didnât trust himself enough to resist me and I respected him for that.
***
Fast forward to eight months of my pregnancy, it was becoming more intense and challenging by the day. It was my first time and it was hellish. Pregnancy comes with sleepless nights and unsteady health conditions.
My second-semester exam was in two weeks. So I went to my course advisor. I told her I was likely to withdraw and come back later. But she encouraged me and asked me to be very strong for the remaining days of the semester, so the withdrawal would make sense. My initial plan was to withdraw and come back the following year but she said Iâd have to start all over again if I didnât wait to write my second-semester exam. And that would automatically make my first semester a waste.
That was what gave me the courage to continue. My course advisor was incredibly supportive. Dr. Mrs. Catherine Akuchukwu, if youâre reading this, I want you to know that I love you, ma. God bless you for being supportive in my university days at Unizik. Iâm grateful for everything you did for my sake.
Without her, I wouldnât have had the courage to continue. She later prayed a short prayer with me in her office and assured me that my unborn baby would open doors for me since I didnât terminate him as others would do. Yes, him! That was according to the doctor, but Iâd wait to see if their scan was right. I was equally expecting a baby boy, too. Donât ask me why.
Winks.
I called my mom and informed her of what my course advisor said because she was the one who asked me to withdraw and come back later. There was nothing she could do rather than encouraged me to finish up since my exams would start in two weeks. Yet I didnât hear from my father. I didnât call him too. I hated being scolded or shouted at, so there was no need to invite it myself.
During the second semester exam, the investigators were kind enough not until the second to the last day of the examination, shit happened. I donât think Iâll ever forgive that man with a bicycle head for making me fail one of my courses. He stubbornly submitted my answer script when he caught me looking into one of my colleagueâs paper. Despite my pleads and that of my course mates. He remained adamant.
This man submitted my script forty minutes after we started and my script was still empty. It was one of those things I faced as an undergraduate.
The last day of my second-semester exam was the day I bumped into Meska again. This time he was with his coursemates in a flashy car. They all wore the same clothes, celebrating their last paper as an undergraduate. They were jubilating and applauding themselves for starting and finishing together. It was about eight flashy cars in a convoy. His department was more of boys, just a few girls.
Well, Meska saw me and I saw him too, but we didnât say anything to each other. He gave me that look that justify he wasnât pleased with me but I wasnât moved. I got to where they were and went my way and didnât bother looking back.
The end of the second-semester examination meant the end of year one. Unizik academic calendar was also fast and there was no ASUU strike that year. I was grateful to God for seeing me through. I thanked Kate for being supportive too.
I went home two days later with my almost due belly. I didnât go during the day. I waited till evening before I left Awka. I came back around 7 pm and was excited to see Grandma and Darlington again. Home sweet home. I was glad.
Five days later, aroun5 am, I started feeling unusual. It was so intense that Darlington rushed to call Papa Ada, one of our neighbors who owned a car. Darlington helped me get into the car. I was so weak. Grandma was standing with her rechargeable lamp. She was supposed to go to church that morning but she joined us as we headed toward the hospital.
Long story short, before 6 am, I was delivered of a bouncing baby boy. He was damn heavy. I canât remember vividly what he weighed. It might seem so simple I said I was delivered of a baby boy, trust me, it wasnât an easy ride. I went through distress and anguish. But I was thankful to God it was successful and didnât involve surgery.
Ziggy, welcome to motherhood, I said to myself while I lay tiredly on the hospital bed.
Fair Warning: â ïž This episode is long. Not too long tho.
But itâs advisable to read when youâre not in a hurry to scroll down.
So you might need to revisit if it bumps on when you are not free.
Happy reading.
*****
The following weekend after I welcomed my blue jet, my mother arrived home. I was emotional seeing her again. We were almost crying as she embraced me. My mom and I were the same kind of person; too emotional and fragile.
She came back with lots of goodies and baby kinds of stuff. She came purposely to help me take care of the baby, knowing grandma was aging and wouldnât want her to stress herself, bathing and doing all the massaging and oiling of the baby.
Before her arrival, grandma had been the one doing all those things, I was just watching and learning from her. She was also using hot water and pieces of cloth to massage me down there, yeahhhâŠdown there. It was painful that Iâd scream anytime she does it. So my mom took over from grandma. She bathed my baby, wore his diapers, and rubbed her baby oil too.
I didnât know that Iâd have cramps after my baby was born and it would be a bit uncomfortable. My mom said it usually happens because after birth, according to her, the uterus starts to shrink back to its pregnancy size and it does so by cramping. Though she said I shouldnât be scared that it would only last for a few days.
Two days after my mother arrived, late in the night, we got talking and she asked who the father of the baby was and where I met him. Somehow, I felt nervous and it seemed hard to narrate how it all happened. Well, she is my mother and she had been supportive, unlike my father who didnât even ask about the father of my unborn baby then, instead he chose to beat me.
I narrated my love story with Meska, and how Meska and I eventually slept a day before my exam. I couldnât stand to tell her all the other s*x escapades between Meska and I. What about the atrocities Darlington and I committed? I didnât mention them. I only told her about my last s*x with Meska. I lied? Yes, I did.
My mom was so kind that she didnât make me feel bad about the past. Neither did she scold me. She knew what I needed then was care, love, and attention. She said I must have learned my lessons the hard way. She further stressed she would like to meet Meska. Now, you see the difference between my father and my mother? Their actions were different.
My uncles reached out to me on the phone call. They also sent money for my newborn baby. I was happy to see them show some love. Only Clinton was particularly interested in seeing my baby, so we did a video call. Kate called me regularly after I informed her about my newborn baby.
There was one significant thing about my baby that always bring back Meskaâs memories and that was the shape of his mouth. Just a replica of Meskaâs mouth.
After seven days, mom asked what names Iâd like to call him. I was all smiles and didnât even know what to think. âShould I name him on your behalf?â She added jokingly. âNo. Iâll name him myself.â Well, I called my baby boy Jesse, and his native name was Chimezie. Grandma insisted on naming him too, she called him Chibueze. There was no special naming ceremony. My baby was later baptized in our church.
Nurturing my baby was challenging and exhausting. There were several nights I stayed up breastfeeding him so he could stop crying. It was never easy. Sometimes b****t milk wasnât his problem when he cries, it might just be the weather and other things I couldnât help. My grandma and my mom knew these things and I was glad to have both of them. Darlington was also still in the house. He helped do some house chores.
During this period, I fed like a glutton because my baby was taking up everything through b****t milk. There were days I ate four times a day, other days I woke up late at night to feed on junk food. I thought Iâd stop feeding on junks after giving birth, but I progressed to being a pro.
In a matter of a week, those âfunâ aspects of being a teenager went out the window to make room for diaper changes and late-night feedings. But despite the challenges of being a young mother, there was this joy of motherhood that filled my heart each time I saw my baby smiling. I was lucky to have a supportive mom, but as a young parent, I felt irredeemable. It may not be the life I planned so meticulously, but itâs one I wouldnât give up for anything in the world.
After a month and a few days, it was Unizikâs resumption date and I wasnât ready and fit for the struggles and hurdles on campus, so I went with what mom said I should doâand with the help of my course advisor, and the head of my department, I applied for withdrawal for one year, stating my reasons. It wasnât something I did happily but that was what I felt was the best too.
After two weeks, my course advisor called and informed me to come to school for my letter. She said the school Senate approved my request. So I went back to school to pick up my letter from her while my mates were in the first semester of the second year. Iâm not going to lie, I really felt it.
I didnât change my accommodation for anything, so I renewed the rent even when I wouldnât stay for one full session. Well, the money was there, so that was the least of the things that bothered me.
When I got back home from school that day, scrolling through my WhatsApp, my departmental group chat was filled with loads of messages and when I went through the messages, it was congratulatory texts from my coursemates. How did they even find out I had given birth? I guess one of them must have seen me in school earlier that day. At the end of the day, I thanked them generally for their warm wishes.
After I suspended my studies for a year, it felt like an exercise in explaining myself to the people in the neighborhood. I was equally filled with thoughts like, how would I cope? Would I ever go back to University? There were heavy questions to load someone up with at a vulnerable time, and I was barely forming the answers myself.
Again, I canât stress how lucky I was to have the support of my family behind me. Without their help, I wouldnât have found it easy raising my baby. It was hard though, but I was doing okay, and, well, my life was no longer just about me. My sonâs presence in my life brought on a new season of purpose. I was becoming less focused on myself, and more focused on doing what was best for both of us.
Gradually, my baby was growing, after two months, my mom traveled back to the city. I wished she never did but for the sake of her business. It would have been lovely if I followed her to Abuja with my boy, but my father didnât buy that idea. He wanted me to suffer it alone and that way Iâd learn my lessons.
During the time I was off in school, raising my baby boy, I did feel sad at times when I would see my departmental group bubble with so much information concerning the new courses they offered. I feel bad they were ahead of me and I wasnât also going to graduate with them. It worried me that I wouldnât know anyone properly when graduating with other sets and my coursemates would have done it without me.
***
Fast forwarding, a year quickly passed, I mean one academic session passed and it was time to return to campus to finish up what I started. My baby was a year old too. I knew it would be difficult coping with him and going to classes, so I found a private nursery very close to my apartment and it was amazing. My boy started there and he was happy.
My coursemates were lovely and understanding, they contributed some money and gave me for my baby. I marveled. They were in their third year and I was in my second year with a different set of people. I found their course rep and he added me to their departmental group chat. So I was existing on two different platforms; my original set and the set I would be graduating with.
I missed Kate on my return to my apartment. Why? She had moved out. She packed into another lodge for a new session. She said she was tired of certain things in the apartment. Well, she still visited during the week. She told me how her sister was able to raise her baby during her school days and that really motivated me. And though I realized there was still a difficult journey ahead, I was ready for it.
My son was my priority. He was the light of my life, and seeing him happy and knowing that I was going to graduate someday, kept me going on the long night. My son went to daycare during lecture period and I did the best I could to take care of him while studying for exams and completing other assignments in the evening.
One day, my mom and I were talking on the phone and she asked if Meska had come to see his baby. It was then I made it clear to her I wasnât talking to him for long and we havenât been on good terms too. My mom wasnât pleased with that. She said I should let him know I have delivered, that no matter what, Meska is still the father of my baby and it wouldnât change. She added that he deserves to see him too, after all, it was the two of us who brought him to life.
âDonât you want your baby to have a father figure?â She said over the phone.
I unblocked Meskaâs number and via WhatsApp too. One day, I cunningly texted him and he was shocked. Though he felt I was trying to win him back or wanting us to continue the relationship, I was quick to notice it through his texts, so I told him clearly why I unblocked him. Meska was delighted to hear he has turned into a father. He said he wasnât in town, but would come to Awka anytime he arrived to see his baby. This was something I dreaded. I didnât want him to know where I lived. Meska demanded a video call, I granted him, he saw Jesse and was all smiles. He teased me, saying I had changed and turned into a bigger person. He wasnât looking bad, judging by his look on camera, he was looking fresh and clean.
After the call, we got chatting, he was sorry for the days of my pregnancy and he did say I was wicked for not informing him the day I delivered. I donât know how he did it but I found myself laughing while reading his messages. I was supposed to be angry but I was smiling.
Towards the mid of the semester, Meska called and said he was on his way to Awka. He said he was around Onitsha. I told him to call me whenever he gets to Ifite, and he said okay. He was coming with his car and that spoke volumes of how he had metamorphosed. Meska now has a car? Wow! I said to myself.
An hour later, I didnât hear from Meska. I didnât want to call him, so I waited to see if he would come in the next thirty minutes. Two hours and he still didnât call to ask for direction.
Three hours on, I swallowed my pride and dialed his number. It rang but wasnât answered. I dialed the second time and was startled by the voice I heard over the phone, a female voice. âPlease come to Regina Caelii Special Hospital, Awka. The owner of this phone was involved in an accident not long ago.â Shivers ran through my spines. I quickly wore my clothes and dressed up my baby, and we left.
We arrived at the hospital in a jiffy and headed straight to the ward I was informed to come. Jeez, the scene of Meska in the bed was horrible, it was way too terrifying to the eyes. When I asked the doctor what was involved, he began to mention: âHe suffered brain bleeding, broken collar bone, 3 ribs, and entire right arm, shoulder, and a punctured lung.
But without a beat, Meska smiled when I came in with Jesse. But there was a problem. The problem? Most of his memory was gone of our interactions and he didnât know who I was. He remembered some memory but not much overall. I was losing myself instantly. How could this terrible thing happen to Meska? I was confused and didnât know what else to do. My heart kept p******g faster than usual. I stood helpless and got tired of explaining myself to him.
Later in the evening, they were able to reach one of his family people and before they arrived, I left with my baby.
For days, the thought of what happened to Meska sickened me. I was so bothered about him. Well, life continued, and I prayed he gets better.
My second year at the University seemed like forever due to the industrial strike by ASUU. It was during this strike period I met the love of my life, Ikenna. You still remember him right? Yes, the guy I told you that dropped out after writing junior waec with us. Ikenna was still the same person that drove me home that night after Meska broke up with me. Yes, you remember him now, right? Well, by the description above, you should remember him, Ikenna, the electrician. His life had transformed. Ikenna was living in the United Kingdom and was doing pretty well for himself.
At first, he didnât know I had a child. I dreaded telling him about it when we first met after he arrived from Uk. I didnât know he wanted me, so I kept my son away from him. When finally I realized he had so much interest in me and wanted more from me, I opened up to him, telling him I was a single mother. He said he didnât mind and I felt that was some sort of joke. I knew most men donât like single mothers but Ikenna proved to be different.
Well, at the moment, Iâm in my finals, and Ikenna and I have been in a long-distance relationship for two years now. Things are going pretty well for us. Iâm proud of myself that I went back and continued with my degree. I have changed so much, but it is all for the better. I literally cannot imagine my life without my son and Iâm so incredibly grateful to him for helping me grow into the woman I am now. It was because of him I was able to find the depth of my strength.
If youâre reading this because you find yourself in an unexpected pregnancy, I want you to know it does get better. Donât let anyone tell you otherwise.
My finals at the university havenât been easy because I have been running around for my projects and at the same time working out my Visa. Yes, you heard me right. As soon I finish up and hopefully, Godâs swilling I get my Visa, Iâd be joining Ikenna in Uk, after a closed family marriage. Thatâs the plan.
My son? My mom finally took him to be with them during my third year, so I could focus in my studies. Iâm thankful for my mom, my grandma, my uncles, Kate, Darlington, and everyone who shaped my life, Meska, and my father too.
Winks.
My life didnât work out the way I planned it, but Godâs plan was magical. I had thought Meska would end up being the father to my unborn children, but it was unfortunate it happened that way. Jesse would always remind me of him anytime I look him in the face. I really canât wait to graduate, get married to the love of my life and move to UK. And for now, this is the end of my story and I hope to tell more of my love life with Ikenna when finally I get there.
_The End_
