HEDGED
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Episode 3
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The longest amount of time Mama and I had ever been apart were the times I spent away at school. Besides that, it has always been Mama and me. We’ve always been a team, living under the same roof and going through life’s struggles as a unit.
Then I graduated, got a job, and shortly after that, my first transfer to work out of town came in, so Mama had to experience what it was like to be truly alone for the first time in an exceedingly long time. For the time being, she had to make do with hearing my voice exclusively over the phone.
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You needed to see Mama crying at that airport terminal. It was as if her son were leaving, never to return.
I shed a tear as well, knowing that I would miss my “best friend” equally.
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Every day, Mama and I would converse on the phone regarding anything and everything. I’ll always keep Mama up to date on my everyday happenings, and she’ll do the same.
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Mama was well-versed in all of my “girlfriends.” She’ll typically vet them and tell me which are fine for me and which aren’t. No matter how hard I tried to ignore Mama’s advice at first, she was always correct about every lady she’d ever asked me to dump.
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I am what you would call a “mama’s boy,” and I am proud of it.
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My mother’s shoulder was always there for me to cry on after every heartbreak, an aftermath of every piece of advice I refused to take.
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Most people who had witnessed how close Mama and I were assumed that our bond was uncommon, while others envied us, wishing they had a relationship half as close to their parents.
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Tricia, as expected, considered my mother-son connection outrageous at first. I could see it in her eyes each time I was in her presence, as well as on the phone with Mama.
I was annoyed at first that Tricia felt that way about my relationship with my mother, but I gradually grasped why. I could understand her envied feelings. In that way, I understood her reasoning.
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One day, I had to explain to Tricia why Mama and I are so close.
“I am basically the sole person in that woman’s life.” “Growing up shouldn’t be the reason I abruptly detach myself from her, you know. Besides, we were this way long before you came along.” “The fact that I’m doing everything I can to keep Mama and I connected is truly for your sake, baby.” “If my shift in attitude toward her is abrupt, believe me, you’ll be blamed even though it has nothing to do with you.” “It’s a classic African mother’s mentality.”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a good relationship with your mother, Greg, but…”
“But, what, babe?” “For a moment, put yourself in the shoes of this elderly lady.” “How would your emotions be if, regarding our son, the one we’re going to have together, you suddenly felt that he was becoming overly detached from you, and his explanation for this was growth?” “How would your feelings be if, to make matters worse, you suspect that his wife has something to do with it?”
“Errm. I…”
“She is also your mom, Tricia; at the very least, I hope that you are able to see her in that manner.” “You could grow into the daughter that she never had.” “You could help her realize that you don’t pose a threat to her connection to me…”
“…You tell Mama that, Greg, not me.” “I didn’t come here to wrench you apart from her, but you happen to be married to someone now, for crying out loud.”
“I understand, babe, and I will certainly make these clarifications.” “It’s just that it’ll be easier for me to get you to understand this than it will be for me to get Mama to understand anything.” “You know, she’s getting older by the day, and her ability for reason and comprehension in this type of affair cannot be compared to yours.”
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That day, Tricia and I had a really lengthy and fruitful talk. It wasn’t easy, but I was eventually able to persuade her to see things my way.
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Tricia assured me that she is committed to putting in the effort to win Mama over to her side, but I should be aware that it may take some time.
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That was a reasonable pronouncement, and I couldn’t be more proud of my wife.
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Tricia has strengthened my sense of logical reasoning since then. She now encourages me to be calm, even when I perceive that Mama is going too far with something she does.
To be continued…
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Moshood Avidiime The Writer
